When Top 40 Radio Steals From My Heroes, Things Might Get Ugly

There's a song on the radio probably everyone knows, even if you don't know it by name.

That is, of course, unless you've been living in a barn. Or working nights for a year and a half, never venturing to hipster dance clubs, spending most of your free time with a very select library of music that is either classic or snobbishly obscure.

I think I'll plead no contest to the latter option.

Anyway, I was inside a bar the other night and there was no music, just the sounds of flip-collared turds trying to hit on some very nice girls who apparently had run out of clean laundry and opted for lasciviously styled bed sheets that barely covered their butts.

I'm not complaining. Typical Springfield bar scene. Typical reason why I only go out with a select group of friends.

Tirade apart, I decide to put on some "good music," as if a majority of the people in the bar would know it if it bit them on the ass.

Song selection number one: "If I Should Fall From Grace With God" by The Pogues. If you haven't heard it, it's basically a punk version of an Irish jig.

Needless to say it went over like a lead balloon.

Song selection number two: "Straight To Hell" by The Clash. People start looking over as soon as the intro starts. They start letting loose, about to unleash their Groove Thangs.

Unbeknown to me, apparently MIA sampled that particular song for the song "Paper Planes." If you haven't heard it, it's the one with the chorus "All I wanna do is..." followed by several gunshots in rhythm with the bass drum.

I was floored.

Here's a tribute to talentless hacks who rip off truly inspired music, with the top five that infuriate me most:

1. The Clash's "Straight To Hell" used for MIA's "Paper Planes"
2. Parliament's "We Want The Funk" was used in Snoop Dogg's "What's My Name"
3. The Clash's "Rock The Casbah" was used in Will Smith's "Will 2K"
4. Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" was used in Will Smith's "Wild Wild West"
5. Stevie Wonder's "Pastime Paradise" was used in Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise"